May 6th, 2008 at 5:00 pm Ahna was driving home from work and laughed so hard her water broke. She was not certain this was the case - she was only certain that something didn't feel quite right. There were some contractions which came and went over the next 50 minutes, then we began timing them.

For one hour there were contractions every four to seven minutes and lasting one to two minutes - pretty close to textbook from what we had learned. Then we called labor and delivery and were quickly told "you could have come after you thought your water broke". Good thing we jotted down that note during birthing class about timing contractions for an hour (we will be writing a letter requesting a refund as soon as the baby is asleep for long enough).

Anyway, on to the hospital where we were examined and it was determined whether we were in the right place or hypochondriacs. As it turned out we WERE in the right place (maybe the birthing class was right??) and we were admitted shortly after 7:00pm. Time to set up shop and get comfortable for the long haul.

Ahna had been at three centimeters for more than two weeks - when we got to the hospital she was at four. The placard in front of the ride known as "epidural" reads "you must be four centimeters to ride this ride", so needless to say, Ahna got in line. A few nurse's checks later, she was still at four, but obviously not in pain.

We were finally able to get a little bit of sleep. Funny how an epidural will allow you to sleep through something so painful as contractions but when it comes to things like:

1. Your pulse monitor beeping like it's Y2K and we need human intervention STAT
2. Nurse number 5,387 knocks on the door to alert you she will be collecting blood, urine, readings, environmental data, collection plate offerings, donations, song requests, ETCETERA
3. Your blood pressure cuff deciding at random intervals to force your arm to straighten for 40 to 50 seconds while a machine takes your blood pressure reading -- all the while robbing you of your oh-so-comfortable fetal-position sleep which (unbeknownst to you) will be the last morsel of rest your entire body will see for the next three days.

an epidural has no effect whatsoever!! Anyway...

The next time the nurse came in, Ahna was at nine and it was time for some practice pushing. Aced the practice pushing of course - but when it came to the real pushing it was slow going. Over the next hour or so we were pushing with the nurse, who at one point explained that the baby might be posterior (facing the wrong way) and it might me more difficult to push him out. "Maybe we can get the doctor to vacuum him out - or we can go to C-section". That was all Ahna needed to hear in order to kick things into high gear as it were.

"I am going to get the doctor - you just relax while I am gone." As I am typing this, I DID NOT select a bold text for that part of the sentence -- that was how it came out of the nurses mouth. Regardless, Ahna was on a mission, and for the 30 or 40 minutes that the nurse was gone, she watched the monitor for the contractions and pushed her best each time. This was in addition to a little conference call she had with the baby, wherein she explained to him that this was the only option for him, and that he really needed to start working with her and stop being so stubborn, etc. etc.

Once the doctor finally came it was game-time -- what seemed like 40 to 150 nurses piled into our room and they put the stadium lights on and everything. Less than an hour later his head had finally popped out. "The head is out" said the nurses "Oh, what happens next?" said Ahna. "We need to get the shoulders out" said the nurses - not one second later the rest of the baby came flying into the world - no pushing necessary.

So, at 5:10 am on May 7th 2008, Cooper Michael Ward was born into this world. I don't think I have ever stared for so many consecutive minutes as I have with Cooper. Ahna and I have created the most beautiful thing either of us has ever laid eyes upon. We are completely and fully in love, and we have no intention of ever changing that.

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